Thursday, June 11, 2009

I said I never would,,,, But

Today was a rather uneventful day. I woke up early, did some laundry, and then met up with our import players and a few of the Finnish players at the gym. We met our team exercise trainer to go over some workout routines for the remainder of the season. The session lasted about an hour and then I headed to lunch with some of the British guys. Lunch was superb today. I have learned to associate Thursday lunches in Finland with pea soup and dessert. I am not sure about the pea soup routine, although I have been told it has something to do with old war traditions. The dessert is generally a Finnish style pancake, which is really light and tasty and topped with fresh strawberries. This is so good that it is beyond words. The rest of the meal consisted of some fresh bread, salad, mashed potatoes, and some beef goulash. After lunch, I did some trip planning for our bye week vacation and then headed off to take the family swimming at the local swim center.
The indoor swim center is located in the same facility as our team gym/weightroom. If anything, I would compare it to a YMCA in the states. We paid our fee to swim and then headed in to our respective locker rooms to change into our swimming attire. Kodie and I were out first before the ladies in the family. Kodie and I went straight into the water and within seconds the swim police informed us that we were not allowed to continue swimming in the pool in our current state of dress. My agitation level started to ratchet up quickly and I kindly asked for an explanation. Basically, there was no sensible explanation. I was told that my son and I would have to change clothes if we wanted to continue using the facility. I asked " change into what?" The attendant said he would bring me the appropriate clothes and he disappeared upstairs for what seemed like an eternity. In the meantime, the girls came out and asked what was going on. I could only shrug my shoulders in confusion and disbelief. About 3-4 minutes passed before the man returned with a piece of cloth for both Kodie and I. The new trunks were about one third the size of our own swimming trunks and they left little to the imagination. I then realized that this would be a defining moment in my life. I was faced with having to make a quick decision regarding something that I vowed I would never do. I felt like Hamlet in an epic Shakespearean drama. To speedo or not to speedo, that was the question. My son was looking to me for direction on what to do, so I grabbed the two garments and made a bold decision. Leaving no doubt as to my intentions, we scurried off to the locker room. In my opinion, I was about to enter into a new club, a fellowship if you will. I would classify this club as men walking the earth who have no business wearing a speedo. I would now be a card carrying member. I will say that this was not the most fun I have ever had swimming. I decided to play it safe and stay off the diving boards for the day. I have also decided not to rush out and buy my own personal speedos anytime soon. On top of all this, the club decided to charge me for the rentals as we left the facility. Again, I was irritated and asked for some explanation. I assured them that no American pool was ever on record as having drained entirely due to our large and wonderful swimming trunks clogging up the filters. Well, I didn't really say this, but I wanted to. It was a futile attempt, so I ended up having to go dig in my bag for some Euros for the swimsuit rental. I am proud of myself for not using any profanity during this entire time other than a little "bloody hell fire" towards the end. Next time, I'm going swimming at the lake! Found a few internet pictures that sort of resonated with me and my first speedo experience. Hope you enjoy.




Despite what has been put out there by our Constitution, all men were NOT created equal.



If there was an 11th commandment, my vote would be-- God did not intend for all men to wear speedos.


Those who can get away with wearing a speedo know who they are.

Lights out and happy swimming.

4 comments:

BStrong said...

Ok, so I am not sure who I feel more sorry for... you... the speedo... or the people who saw you in the speedo! WOW.

Dusty 6'6'' 250 said...

was that first picture a former assistant here...with the initials rv? haha

Mikey said...

hahaha You do not even know how happy I am that yall put "swimming" off until I had left!!! I'm sorry for your misfortune... the only thing that keeps running thru my head with this is that they RENTED out speedos... "Thanks mr. attendant for giving me the blessed opportunity to wear used briefs..."

Rich Slivoskey said...

The first two photos are enough incentive for me to go straight, but the third photo saved me. I did not know that you were whale watching.